What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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