I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
