there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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