It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just had sex on a roof
Bring me that man meat
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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