dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
