dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
