so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
