one might say we're banned from that church
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My vagina is officially offended.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
