Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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