I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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