I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
is it fun? or sober?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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