he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
a search helicopter?!
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
