I don't usually arrange sex via text message
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
