I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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