after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and she was petting her beer can
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
