Already got asked if we're dating
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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