We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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