yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
