Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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