Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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