I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
