WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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