The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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