A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
