Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
