You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
