i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
All the doctor said was why
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
