Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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