i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
