I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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