Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
