Are we in a gay sports bar?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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