Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
