you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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