I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
