Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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