i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
