capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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