why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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