I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
