fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
