hotel room ftw
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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