You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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