im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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