their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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