My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I'm really busy with my period
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