So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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