P.S. I can't hear my feet
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
