I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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