im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
