We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize