I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
