So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
