Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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