I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
