you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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