ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
