wake up i wanna do it froggy style
that's an acceptable place to lick
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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