it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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